The Courageous Journey to an Authentic Life
What you may really encounter while freeing your life force...
What you may really encounter while freeing your life force
Sometimes my writing turns wild. Words turn into fiery flames, passionately revealing paragraphs filled with face-slapping truths. And I wonder: Who would want to read this? Is this helping anyone in any way?
Very soon after wondering about this, I’ll often meet someone new, someone I haven’t met before. It can be someone sitting at a table next to me in a coffee bar, a new member of the writing group, or someone walking by on the streets. This someone is often younger than I am.
The Unstoppable Creational Force
It’s someone who radiates beauty. Not in terms of fair skin and perfect jawlines but the beauty of love, openness to life, and a sense of wonder.
All it takes is a few seconds of noticing this person to sense a fountain of talents, unique abilities, and possibilities pouring out of them. The unstoppable, creational force that is mostly hidden, kept secret, or unable to flow visibly.
Instantly, I will stop questioning my writing and get back to it. Today, when I noticed the someone of the day, I asked myself: What does this person need to hear? What would be helpful?
And what I’d genuinely like to say is this: All you need to do is to keep radiating all that beauty and love, keep being open, let that fountain flow freely, and all will be well; a magical, abundant world will appear.
I wish I could give the someones I meet those words. A key. A secret that points out that all this is enough. That just being the beautiful being you are, is enough. That when you are beautiful in this way, great things will unfold, roses will bloom when you walk by, and everything you hope for will work out. Life will be an adventure in which love is all around all the time. Love, joy, and beauty.
The gaping gap
But I can’t say that because it is not like that, which is why I write what I write. There is this vast gaping gap that is the result of adults around us, when we were young, thinking or pretending that they knew best. They had it figured out. They knew what life is about.
So, in some sense, therefore, we assumed that adulthood would bring freedom, flow, and joy. That fountain we felt inside would keep flowing and grow even larger. Adventure and beauty await! Even if our parents were miserable, we still assumed in some way that the freedom adulthood would bring would automatically give us the tools to do better.
In most cases, the unfolding of free-flowing fountains filling our lives with joy and beauty does not happen automatically. And, if nobody ever tells you that, you may end up with a dried-up waterfall and acceptance of a little less beauty in your life.
You then forget about that stream of life force that seemed to prepare itself to burst out of you in some inexplicable way. The outburst you assumed would come with the freedom adulthood would bring. Maybe you molded yourself into a less intimidating, less fiery, more accepted cute little ornament that only spurts out water on predictable moments, in tune with the fountains surrounding you.
The dried-up fountain
The importance of all this is that I want you to know that we can make beautiful things unfold, and you can learn how to be increasingly free and joyful. Maybe not all the time, but certainly a lot of the time. Yet barely anyone teaches you what it (really) takes. Simply because not many know, and:
Many people have given up without knowing. Many others are still hoping that there is something still waiting for them. They are still hoping to gather experiences, means, or people to bring them fulfillment. They still await the moments that the fountain I spoke of can freely flow. Some think that accepting the modesty of their somewhat dried-up fountain means they embraced being Zen. It is what some think it means to be a grown-up.
But you don’t need to dry up to grow up. You can choose to reconnect to the life force within. To learn about and activate your fountain, you may have to face all that is difficult and complicated about (your) life. You have to learn about it to understand why the beautiful being that you are does not seem to be enough to have everything in your life flow.
Plus, those difficult and complicated things about life will come at you.
It coming at you is a good thing
That may sound counterintuitive and not so great, but it is: Great. Because once you do face these things, your fountain may slowly revive, flow a bit less shyly. The more you progress, the less easily it can dry up. Less and less circumstances or people can clog up the system, and you learn to avoid clogging it up yourself.
Before getting there, however, I must bring in some of those face-slapping truths: When you take this path, you may sometimes (or often) feel very lonely. Because it typically is a lonely road.
You can’t really explain exactly what you are doing. Others may not understand why you would make things ‘harder’ than they need to be (seemingly). You might even become an outcast. You may be ridiculed. Your love and beauty might be misused or abused when you start to open up.
You may meet people or groups who seem to understand you or are on a similar journey. You may think they hold keys, they know how, and get disappointed and maybe even hurt because they don’t know. There is no one key. You may feel that nothing you once believed or hoped is real. Everyone is inauthentic or lost. You are all alone.
Seeing yourself and the world with piercing eyes
After a while, however, once you do face the difficulties and complications, you get stronger. You start to feel it’s all worth it after all. So you continue to SEE yourself and the world around you with piercing eyes. The difficulties and complications are clearer than ever, and you are determined to continue to move through it.
This is often, however (face-slap warning), the point where some of the people in your life, who up to then thought you were just going through a somewhat strange ‘phase,’ don’t know how to deal with you anymore.
Some of these friends and family members simply can not relate to the path you are on. Some don't like that you change into more of your authentic self and into less of who they want you to be. If you keep going, you will likely lose people.
The point of no return
So, some lessons you will learn will be tough to discover. Some may break you up, rip you into pieces, and maybe even let you completely lose faith in love, beauty, and joy.
You may even feel like not wanting to continue. Because the world around you doesn’t add up to what you feel inside, what you feel should be possible. This can be one of the scariest moments awaiting you. I am not saying everyone necessarily goes through it all, but many do.
It is scary because, by now, you can’t turn back. And you know it. Yet it may seem impossible to move forward. You end up in limbo, the void, in darkness.
Whenever this happens, remind yourself that you are not crazy for wanting whatever you want. It is true. It is possible. But you have to know and accept that it is not possible right now. Not yet. You can, however, use this time to bring as much of it (beauty, love, joy) into your life right now.
This is often a very gradual, intimate, and subtle process in which you have the opportunity to learn how to deeply love yourself and stay connected to beauty and love within yourself, regardless of circumstances.
When it seems like nothing moves, you are actually building a foundation
You have hope as long as you are willing to move on, even when that willingness is tucked away deep inside. You may meet new friends and are okay if it turns out it’s better to leave some of them behind too.
Maybe you pick up a new hobby or spend more time outside or in silence. What you are doing now is strengthening the fountain. It’s starting to get you ready to bring some of the beauty you carry inside to the outside, the world around.
Find ways to do it, to keep moving, even if it's just a millimeter. Maybe for you, the movement is supported by listening to music, writing, dancing, talking, gardening, or cooking. Whatever is needed for you to bring out the fountain to yourself, to see it, feel it, and welcome it back. Whatever is needed to start a love relationship, a partnership with yourself. To see the beauty inside, the love, the spark, and dance with it.
And that can be hard, very hard. Because unless you are lucky, it may still seem like the world won’t let you. What is happening here, though, is that you are finetuning your fountain, maybe rebuilding the base of it, with all the teachings life has now given you. This is the point where you continue, regardless of ‘the world not letting you.’ It is when you realize your sovereignty.
The fountain starts to flow more freely
It is when you know your world is not as relevant as you once thought. It is when you see the world doesn’t work that way is kind of funny now. You know the reasons why the world seems to work in a certain way, but YOU don’t have those reasons anymore. This is when you are free, and the fountain starts to flow. Now, all that is left to do is, well, whatever you like.
It may still be rough, and you will still have challenges and experience dark nights, but you are stronger. Your fountain flows freely. Maybe visible, maybe clearly for others to see, maybe just internally for now. It doesn't matter.
That’s what I should say when I meet the someone of the day. In some cases. Not everyone feels inclined to take on this journey, and the journey is not the same for anyone. Some parts of it are easier for some than for others. Some phases may take years, some just a few months.
You may recognize yourself in some of it if you have read through it all. I know what it is like. I have been through it all myself, multiple times. I also know that it helps a lot when you get support. Unconditional, non-judgmental support. Therefore I am starting a support group in which I coach, support, and guide you to your own inner guidance. The first group will be entirely free and will start soon (beginning of 2023).
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